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What’s The Best Vibrator For Beginners?

What’s The Best Vibrator For Beginners

You won’t believe what an overwhelming task buying a vibrator can be, especially your first. The sex toy market is saturated with over 20 million (and increasing by the minute) vibrators to choose from; and they come in various shapes, are manufactured using different materials, and do so many unique things. But you might be wondering, “Which is the best vibrator for me?”

For beginners looking for their first vibrator, they are spoilt for choice considering that some are even a remote control vibrator. However, once you have an idea of what you are looking for, buying the best vibrator for you is straightforward.

Even sex toy novices that have no idea where to begin can discover the different vibrator types and when you learn what they do, it will quickly narrow down your options. This is the first stage of purchasing the best vibrator for you!

What Is A Vibrator? 

To put it briefly, a vibrator is any adult sex toy that vibrates. The vibration is a result of a powered motor, with some vibes occurring through multiple motors. Some vibrators work with a press of a button on the device itself, and they are even some that have a remote vibrator feature. 

Vibrations have a pleasurable sensation all over the body, in particular the erogenous zones such as the clitoris, vagina, anus, and penis. The reason being is that these body parts have many nerve endings that are very receptive to vibration. When you use a reverberating sex toy in those areas, you get intense pleasure, an orgasm, and sometimes even both!

A vibrator is an excellent tool to get to know your body with and to learn how to appreciate the positive sensations it has. Also, you can find out what turns you on and what doesn’t, which are two important details you can use while doing other sexual activities such as masturbation or having sex with your partner for improved pleasure. 

On top of all this, vibrators are good for you as well! Research has proven that vibrators can improve mood, help with relaxation, enhance sexual health, and encourage better sex. 

How Do You Use A Vibrator? 

There are only two rules you have to remember when using a vibrator. These are the following:

  1. Use it in a way that feels good for you!
  2. Never put anything in your anus that doesn’t have a flared base or a phalange!

Besides those two laws of order, you can experiment and play in any way you want to find that “special spot” that makes you feel good. When you play with a vibrator for the first time, you are just seeing what feels good to you. Also, any gender can enjoy a vibrator on any part of their body. You just have to be creative and do what best suits you. 

When Should You Use A Vibrator? 

Basically, whenever you want or feel the urge to have some pleasure, grab your vibrator and buzz away! Many people use their vibrators when they want to masturbate, but lots of couples use them during foreplay to heighten sensation and increase the intimacy they have for each other. 

Similarly, vibrators are available in many different shapes and sizes, so it’s not difficult to find one that is tailored to your requirements. 

  • If you travel a lot, get a small vibrator such as a bullet or egg.
  • If you enjoy external stimulation, go for a clit stimulator or wand massager.
  • If you are looking for something for anal play, a vibrating butt plug is a great option.
  • If you are adventurous and love pleasuring yourself in public, try out a remote control vibrator.

It’s good to experiment with different types of vibes, to quickly find out what you like, so play as much as you can. When you know what you like, it will be a breeze to find a vibrator that meets your needs. 

What Are The Best Vibrators For Beginners? 

Vibrators are sorted into different categories according to their shape or the area of the body they are created to stimulate. Here are just some of the most common styles.

G-Spot Vibrators

These vibrators have angled heads and curves which are the ideal design feature to help you find and stimulate your G-spot. Keep in mind that the G-spot is not an organ, but a concentration of pleasurable nerves that are about 2 to 3 inches up inside the vagina on the same as the naval. 

When you stimulate this area with fingers, penises, or sex toys, it produces very memorable orgasms and intense sensations. Since the G-spot is a lively assortment of nerves that usually reacts best to touch when its proprietor is already excited. Also, because the G-spot is situated inside the vagina, a G-spot vibrator is great for individuals who like penetration.

Clit Vibrators

Although anything that shakes and quivers feels good on the clitoris, clit vibrators are designed small and easier to hold on to for that direct stimulation.

Additionally, they come in a vast range of shapes so it’s fun to experiment with which ones work best for you. You can go from small, bullet-shaped devices, to wide, flat pebble stimulators. Also, many clit vibes are produced to imitate the natural curvature of the vulva. So, because of this, they are easy to hold in place during sexual activities with your partner. 

Also, clit vibes can be used on males that enjoy external stimulation. You can use them on your male partner’s perineum, anus, nipples, penis, and testicles.

Bullet Vibrators

These are small, external sex toys that are really useful for clitoral stimulation. Also, you can change or add them to any other sex toy you can think of. 

A bullet vibrator is a good toy for a beginner who isn’t too certain on the size, shape, or strength they want. You won’t find anything smaller than a bullet vibrator, and they usually come in just one shape. So, when using one it can help you find out if you need something bigger or of a different design. 

Although bullet vibrators come in a small size, they pack a punch when it comes to power variation. Also, because they are so small, they are perfect for use during partnered sex when individuals want some extra pleasure but don’t want a toy that interferes with their playtime. 

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How To Use Anal Beads For A Prostate Orgasm?

How To Use Anal Beads For A Prostate Orgasm

Not many people are aware that they can extend and intensify their male partner’s pleasure with prostate stimulation. And that is a shame because you, and of course he, is seriously missing out on some fun!

Yes, of course, penile orgasms are fantastic, but men’s pleasure does not stop there. Men have a mysterious organ that when it is stimulated with anal beads, an anal plug, or even a prostate massager can result in an amazing full-body orgasm that goes beyond the expectation of what male pleasure usually means. 

If you truly want to please your man, get to know the prostate. It’s a walnut-sized gland that has the duty of producing part of the fluid that makes up semen. More often than not, the prostate is also known as the “male G-spot” because it brings on an intense and unique climax when properly stimulated.

If you want to learn more about the prostate, stick around and keep on reading our tips and tricks to stimulating it for the ultimate prostate orgasm. 

Do Just Men Have A Prostate?

Well, technically speaking anyone that has a penis usually has a prostate. Nevertheless, there are some trans women and non-binary individuals that do as well. However, if you are starting to feel slightly confused, stay rest assured that people with uterus’s do not have prostates. Still, the prostate is similar to the female G-spot in the way it is located so far inside the body, what type of stimulation it usually responds well to, and the kind of toys that are best suited to access it. 

Who Can Perform A Prostate Orgasm? 

Essentially anyone with a prostate that’s who! Although there is a misconception that anal play is only for gay men, anyone with a prostate can enjoy this type of stimulation no matter their sexual orientation or relationship status. You won’t “turn gay” just by playing with your prostate, just like you won’t become Japanese eating tons of sushi. Keep in mind that the prostate is a gland, and it does not define sexual preference.

On the same level, any gender or orientation can, and usually do provide prostate stimulation for their partners. Even though prostate stimulation is usually thought of as something only older men do because their doctors advise them to do so to maintain their prostate health. However, prostate stimulation can be fun too!

Where Is The Prostate? 

The first question everyone has when they are about to have prostate play is where the prostate, or in cuter terms, the P-spot really is. Even though you can’t see it with the naked eye, we promise that it isn’t difficult to find the prostate inside the body. There are two methods of doing it. 

How To Find The Prostate Internally? 

To find the prostate, you have to enter through the rectum.  The prostate is located around 3 to 4 inches up inside the rectum, just below the bladder. It’s around an inch wide and usually feels like a soft walnut or firm with a slight give like a ripe plum. 

Normally, the prostate has a recognizable texture from the rest of the rectum, so you should be able to tell it apart, particularly when the person is aroused. When a person is aroused, the prostate begins to enlarge with blood and fluid that it discharges during ejaculation, making it larger, firmer, and more apparent to the touch. 

How To Find The Prostate Externally? 

Getting to the prostate externally is a less direct way and does not require sex toys such as anal beads to do it. It’s good for those who are not yet ready for anal penetration. 

To locate it, press softly upward the perineum, which is the area between the anus and the testicles until you sense a firm bulge. If you don’t feel it immediately, talk to your partner to check whether you can use a firmer touch. When you feel it through the perineum, you can stroke it with your fingers from the outside. 

How Do You Have A Prostate Orgasm? 

Discuss And Get The Go-Ahead

Although there are many people who love prostate play, it isn’t for everybody. So, this isn’t something you should surprise your partner with at all! That’s why it’s important to talk to your partner about it first before you stick your finger or anal beads into their bum. 

Get Prepared

A big factor in having a prostate orgasm is relaxation. To relax you need to know you have taken all the necessary measures so prostate play happens safely, comfortably, and without any unwanted mess. 

In a nutshell, you might want to douche beforehand. Some people might have a good idea of the cleanliness of their rectums, most of us haven’t got a clue if it’s a safe space down there or not. 

When you aren’t sure, it’s a good idea to have a quick douche or household enema before you start prostate play. This will help to flush the rectum of any unwanted contents so you can focus on pleasing the rectum and not with what might come out!

Get Warmed Up

The anus and rectum have to be relaxed to enjoy prostate pleasure. If a person is nervous or uncomfortable , their anal sphincter usually gets tighter, which makes penetration painful. 

Do some sensual body massage, and some foreplay on erogenous zones such as the nipples, necks, and genitals, before moving towards the buttocks. 

Get Out The Lube

You must keep in mind that the rectum and anus do not self-lubricate, so it’s all up to you. Lubrication is vital for any penetrative anal play since it helps to protect the sensitive tissues in the area from tearing and gives a much-needed buffer for better comfort and pleasure. 

Just Do It!

Now it all depends on whether you want to use your fingers, a toy, or a penis to stimulate the prostate. Whatever you are using, make sure to insert it into the anus slowly and stop once it’s 3 inches inside. If you are using a sex toy with a curved head, put it in so the curve is facing frontwards. The curve should naturally fit around the prostate or should put some pressure on it. 

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Penis Stretching: Everything You Need to Know

Penis Stretching: Everything You Need to Know

Once you’ve warmed up your penis, you can move on to your penile exercises.  As with many workouts, the first and foremost exercises are stretches. Penis stretching is most likely the oldest form of penile exercising and is still essential to any routine. Most advanced exercises designed to enhance penis length derive from penis stretching.

What is Penis Stretching?

Penis stretching, as the name implies, involves exercises that stretch the penis. Some of these exercises are manual – using only your hands. Some of these exercises use devices to create the stretch. There are a variety of exercises that count as penis stretch type exercises. These types of penis exercises are used, most often to increase penis length and girth. Keep reading to learn more, including the different types of stretch exercises.

NOTE: Penis Stretching exercises are not quick fixes. They are not miracle, over night cures. Like traditional exercises, they take time, consistency, proper technique and intensity, to see results. In addition, every person’s body is unique. Some people’s body are more resistant to change than others.

How Does Penis Stretching Work?

Penis stretching works by stretching the tissues of the penis. This stretching, when done at the right intensity, creates microtears in the cells of the penile tissue. When these microtears are repaired by the body, this creates new cellular tissue, which increases length and girth.

This is the same process as happens when building muscle in other areas of the body. The exercise itself creates the microtears, but it’s in the repair (rest) stage that the new tissue is created by the body.

You can see this same effect in someone who uses gauges in their ears. By slowly increasing the size of the gauge, and stretching the ear tissues, eventually, the ear lobe gets significantly longer, as the body repairs the damage from the stretch of the gauge. This same process is seen in the neck stretching of the Kayan people of Thailand as well as cultures that use lip plates as ornamentation.

Penis Devices Used for Penis Stretching

There are a variety of devices used for penis stretching. These include:

  • Penis extenders
  • Penis pumps
  • Weights/penis hanging

Penis Extenders for Penis Stretching

Penis extenders are one of the most common stretching devices. Typically these fall into two styles – either a rigid (with bars or rods) or vacuum (non-rigid) extender.  They hold the penis in a stretched state, for hours at a time. Depending on the style of extender, some can be worn under baggy clothing, such as sweats. Others are more discreet and can be worn under normal clothing, such as slacks or jeans. Some are comfortable enough to sleep with.

Penis Pumps for Penis Stretching

Penis pumps use a cylinder, that the penis is inserted into. Then, vacuum is created in the cylinder, forcing the tissues of the penis to expand not only length wise, but also along the circumference of the penile shaft. This also forces blood into the penis, helping with the expansion. These devices are a less intense stretch than extenders, but have the benefit of offering more girth stretch than extenders. Penis pumps can either be manual or electric to create the vacuum. Some use the removal of water to create the vacuum.

Penis Weights/Hanging for Penis Stretching

Penis hanging isn’t a new exercise. Men have used it for centuries, around the world. Sadhus, as an example, use it as a measure of spiritual enlightenment.

Using penis weights and hanging are advanced penis stretching exercises. They are the most common exercise that sees injury, as men try to hang too much weight, too quickly.

Safety Tips for Stretching Your Penis Safely

  1. Warm Up – Always, always, always warm up your penis before doing any penis stretching exercises. 
  2. Never Stretch Fully Erect – Never do any penis stretching exercise while fully erect. Always be flaccid or semi-flaccid.
  3. Listen to Your Body – Don’t continue to exercise if you ever feel pain.
  4. Remember to Rest – Rest days are the days where your body heals and rebuilds those microtears. They are just as important as your workout days.

Penis Stretching Step-by-Step

1. Grip your penis behind the head and gently pull downward. Hold the stretch for roughly 30 seconds.

2. Repeat in the following directions and hold each stretch for 30 seconds.

FREQUENTLY ASKED PENIS STRETCHING QUESTIONS

How hard should I pull my penis when stretching?

The goal is to pull hard enough to stretch the tissues in the penis, but not hard enough to inflict pain. Finding the happy median comes with experience. At first, use gentle, easy penis stretches. After a few weeks, gradually increase the intensity.

What should I feel when doing penis stretching?

When stretching, people feel different things. During and after a stretch, it’s not uncommon to feel a slight tingling sensation, a sense of itchiness, or a feeling of fatigue in your penis. If you have any of these, you are on the right track. Additionally, some men claim to feel a minor burning sensation when stretching, analogous to the burning feeling acquired in certain muscles when doing high intensity body workouts.

Do not worry if you feel nothing; many men only feel the actual stretch.

Most importantly, you should not feel any pain. Pain is bad. If you feel any pain, stop stretching immediately— you are using too much intensity.

Does it matter where I grip when penis stretching?

No, as long as you do not directly grab the head of the penis, anywhere will work. If your grip the head of the penis, you are putting yourself at risk. The glans penis is the most sensitive part of your body, so treat it well. Grabbing an inch below the glans is most popular because it gives the least amount of skin stretch.

PENIS STRETCHING TIPS

Following are a collection of penis stretching tips, to help you ensure you’re getting the most from every stretch.

  • It does not matter if you stretch standing up or sitting down. The most important thing is that you are comfortable.
  • For the first 3-6 months, only stretch when completely flaccid. Avoid stretching erect as it is intense and thus more risky in the beginning.
  • Manual stretching and jelqing may cause red dots. These are normal. If you experience larger areas of discoloration or bruising, take a few days off to allow your penis to heal. This means you were not warmed up properly, or you stretched too strenuously.
  • Stretching is performed using your bare hands or an aide. For an aide you can use baby powder, rubber gloves, or a fabric of some sort, such as your old weightlifting shirt from high school.

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Dr. Joel Kaplan Male Sex Enhancers

Dr. Joel Kaplan Male Sex Enhancers

Dr. Joel Kaplan is a graduate from the University of Chicago and Saybrook Institute in San Francisco, where he received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology and human sexuality. Dr Kaplan has also been awarded Diplomat status with the American Board of Sexology in Washington DC and is a registered sex researcher and certified sex therapist. Today Dr Kaplan is world wide known as the number one authority and pioneer of erection enhancement therapy.

10 Reasons Dr. Joel Kaplan Systems Are Better Than All Others:

  1. 1. Dr. Kaplan’s Vacuum Pumps Are FDA Registered Medical Devices.
  2. 2. Cylinders Are Long Lasting Durable Medical Grade Acrylic.
  3. 3. Cylinders Are One Solid Injection Molded Seamless Uncrackable Piece.
  4. 4. Cylinders Are Anatomically Correct & Tapered To Fit The Penis Contours.
  5. 5. Cylinders Are Flat At The Base For Ultimate Comfort While Pumping.
  6. 6. Cylinders Are 9.75″ Long, Giving You Potential For Growth.
  7. 7. Dr. Kaplan’s Systems Comes With Professional Instructions.
  8. 8. Dr. Kaplan’s Pump System Is FDA Registered For Impotence.
  9. 9. Dr. Kaplan’s Pump Systems Can Resolve Premature Ejaculation.
  10. 10. Dr. Kaplan’s Pump Systems Can Resolve Penis Shrinkage.

FDA REGISTERED

CheckGain 1-3 Inches PermanentlyCheckBuild Confidence & Self Esteem
CheckIntensify Ejaculation and OrgasmCheckReverse Penis Shrinkage
CheckAdd Length & GirthCheckPrevent Premature Ejaculation
CheckIncrease StaminaCheckResolve Impotence
CheckEnhances Erection and Sex DriveCheckHelp Correct Curved Penis
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How To Talk To Your Partner About STI’s

How To Talk To Your Partner About STI's

Imagine going to a restaurant where the chef served you whatever he or she felt like fixing instead of giving you a choice. Imagine a gardener who never asked, ‘How do you like your bushes trimmed?’ Yet when it comes to sex many of us assume that we know what our partner wants, or we clam up instead of giving feedback.”
—Paul Joannides, Psy.D., The Guide to Getting It On (6th ed.)

It is perfectly okay to keep some things private, especially fantasies that you enjoy on your own and do not care to share with someone else. But in any relationship, whether for one night or many years, there are things about which you do need to communicate. Talking about sex openly makes for relationships that are more fun and satisfying.

You can’t expect a partner to know what you like unless you tell them. People sometimes think that if their partner really loved them or cared about them the other person would do exactly what they wanted. But none of us is a mind reader! No two people want the same things, have the same fantasies, or want to be touched in the same ways.

Remember that whether you feel physical pleasure in response to something a partner does is not an indicator of their “skill” as a lover. What a previous partner liked may not be what gets you off, since each of us is different.

What is there to talk about?

Type of relationship that you want: Committed or non-committed? Friendly or romantic? Sexual or non-sexual? Monogamous or non-monogamous?

STI status: When were you last tested for STIs, and what were the results? Which STIs were you tested for? Not tested for? How many sexual partners have you had since your last round of testing? What were the STI statuses of those partners? What is your history of STI infection?

Here’s a tip: If you have been diagnosed with an STI, you will need to share this information with potential partners. The more positive, honest, and straightforward you can be, the more positively your partner will hear you. Having an STI does not mean the end of a good sex life, but if you feel ashamed of your STI your partner will likely pick up on this. Gather as much factual information as you can about both your STI(s), including transmission, prevention, treatment, and the actual physical effects of the infection. Allow them to ask you questions, and do your best to answer them all honestly and without getting defensive. Remember that this is new news to your partner, and it may take him or her some time to adjust

Birth control: Are you currently using birth control? Are you open to the possibility of pregnancy? What birth control precautions do you want to use?

Safer sex precautions: What barriers do you want to use? What kind of sexual activities are you willing to enjoy without barriers?

Sexual pleasure: What kind of touch feels good to you? Where are the places that you especially enjoy being touched? How do you want to be touched, caressed, kissed, and/or held? The more you explore and know your own body through masturbation, the clearer you can be about what kind of touch you enjoy. Here’s a tip: One way to communicate what you enjoy is by showing your partner how you like to touch yourself. Masturbating in front of a partner is both hot and informative! If your partner can watch the way you stroke your penis/rub your clitoris or use a sex toy, he or she can touch you in similar ways.

Sexual desires: What are sexual activities you know you like and want to do? Ones you have never done but think you might like to try? Ones you might be willing to try? Do you have fantasies you would like to talk about, role play (pretend to act out), or act out?

Sexual boundaries: What are the sexual activities or fantasies you are not willing to explore? Are there places on your body that you do not want to be touched? Make a Yes-No-Maybe chart: Off by yourself, make a list of the things you like to do (Yes!), are not open to trying or don’t want to try again (No!), and things you might like to consider doing (Maybe!). Then get together and share your lists. You might both find some happy surprises!

Starting the Conversation

Communication is necessary throughout a relationship, from the very beginning to the very end. No matter how long you and your partner have been together, you will need to keep communicating about your sexual expectations, desires and needs, as you will both change and grow over your lifetime and as the relationship changes.

When a relationship is new, we may be nervous to share intimate sexual details because we want this new person to like us. As the relationship develops, we may be hesitant to give feedback in case we hurt a partner’s feelings. Perhaps we assume our interests are not supposed to change, but remember that what you liked ten years ago, a month ago, or even five minutes ago may not feel good now!

Here’s a tip: It can be hard to talk to a partner about sex, especially if you have never has a conversation about sex before. Be as straight-forward, confident, and honest as you can be. Here are some ways you might start a conversation:

  • “I am really attracted to you and would like to have sex with you. Before we do that I’d like to talk about ways to make our sex together both enjoyable and safe for both of us.”
  • “I enjoy sex a lot and am so excited about having sex with you. After we made out last night I went home and thought about you all night. If you would like to go farther physically with me, I’d love to talk to you about what kinds of things you enjoy, what you might like to try, what boundaries you have, and how we both want to make sure to have safer sex?”
  • “Since we’ve decided we both want to have sex, at our next date would you bring a print-out of your most recent STI testing and a “yes-no-maybe” list and I will bring mine as well. Then we can compare notes.”
  • (Once in a sexual relationship) “I absolutely love having sex with you. The more I get to know you the more enjoyable sex has become. Now that we know each other better I’d love to find out about other things which turn you on, things that you’d like to explore together.”
  • “I have this fantasy that I would like to tell you about. I’m a little nervous, so it’d help me to know that you want to hear it and won’t laugh at me.”

Though talking about sex can feel a little scary, it can also be incredibly sexy, even if you both have your clothes on. Many people find that when they get up the nerve to talk about sex, their partner really appreciates it. Most likely they’ve been trying to work up the nerve, too! Many respect a partner even more once they’ve brought up the topic of sex. It is ok to be nervous–that lets you know that what you are doing is both important to you and also exciting. See if you can enjoy the nervousness–the butterflies! The nervousness might even be a turn on!

Remember though—it is a good idea to talk about any sexual subject before you get all hot and bothered, but this is especially important for topics which require logical thinking skills, like safer sex expectations. Remember, most of us don’t act rationally in the heat of the moment. Think about your boundaries ahead of time, and discuss them with a partner when you are not currently in a sexual mood. If you are turned on and in bed (or the kitchen or the back seat of the car!), you are less likely to make the decision to use a condom or another barrier if your partner has a different agenda. Having the conversation before you are in a sexual situation makes it more likely you will be able to act according to your own boundaries and preferences.

Other conversations are great fun to have while you are turned on and may even enhance the sexual experience. Telling someone how great it feels when they touch you in that certain spot or in that certain way…or what you want them to do with you (especially if it is something you already know they enjoy)…sharing a sexual fantasy you think they’d like… these are all great things to talk about, and they can make a hot experience even steamier.

Here’s a tip: Though it is important to say “no” to something you don’t like, especially if it is uncomfortable or painful, remember to be positive about what you do like and to direct a partner in a way that lets them know specifically what you enjoy.

  • “I like it when you touch me this way.”
  • “I get so hot when you bite my neck!”
  • “My clitoris/penis is too sensitive for that kind of touch right now. Could you touch me like this?” (And show your partner!)
  • “It turns me on to hear you moan that way.”

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Practicing Safe Sex

Practicing Safe Sex

Being sexual with someone carries risks—risk of rejection, of unwanted pregnancy, of contracting an STI, or even a simple cold. But being sexual also provides physical, emotional and spiritual benefits.

Being alive and engaging in the world around us involves risk, whether we drive a car, eat at a restaurant, or have contact with someone who might have a cold. There is not a way to avoid every risk. Even staying at home and locking our doors is not enough to eliminate all risks, and it’s not very much fun!

Engaging in our environment and building relationships carries so many benefits that most of us are willing to take risks each day but, consciously or unconsciously, we can weigh our risks and benefits to help us determine which risks we are willing to take and which we are not.

Being sexual with someone also carries risks—risk of rejection, of unwanted pregnancy, of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or even a simple cold. Being sexual also can provide many physical, emotional and spiritual benefits, including physical fitness, emotional bonding, and a feeling of spiritual connection. Here we will examine some of the things you can do to assess your own risks and benefits so that you can enjoy the benefits important to you while decreasing your risk of contracting an STI, having an unwanted pregnancy, or being coerced into sexual activity.

Decide on Your Boundaries

It’s not possible to make an accurate, generalized statement about the “ideal” number of partners or the “best” choices to make about condoms or other barriers. There are risks and benefits of any sexual choices, just as there are risks and benefits of almost any other choices we make, from driving a car to dining at a restaurant. There may be no “best” way for everyone, but there probably are some choices that will work better for you and your partner(s) than others.

When deciding on their boundaries, people may consider such things as religious beliefs, cultural standards, personal desires and comfort levels, the type of relationship in which one is involved, the level of trust, communication and commitment within a relationship, the physical, emotional, spiritual benefits of sexual choices, the physical, emotional and spiritual risks of particular sexual choices, and the emotional perceptions of actual physical risks.

A Few Questions to Consider

  • What are your reasons for choosing to have sex? What are the “benefits” you are hoping to enjoy? (Physical health benefits? Pleasure? Emotional connection? Fun? Spiritual connection?)
  • When and how often will you be tested for STIs?
  • When and how often do you want your partners to be tested for STIs?
  • Which sexual activities are you willing to try? Which are you unwilling to do? Which might you be willing to try in some situations and/or with some partners but not others?
  • What barriers do you want to use? Under which circumstances?
  • What barriers and other precautions do you want your partner(s) to use when being sexual with others, if you are in a sexually non-monogamous relationship?
  • Are you willing to risk a possible pregnancy? If not, what method of birth control will you use?
  • Do you have a plan of action that you intend to follow if, in spite of precautions, you are faced with an unwanted pregnancy, or an STI?

Once you have decided on your own “safer sex” boundaries, you will need to gather the tools you will need to stick to your decisions. Some of the most common “tools” are included below.

External Condoms

Currently, condoms are the only widely available, proven method for reducing your risk for HIV and other STIs. Condoms are effective when people use them correctly and consistently. Using a lubricant (see more below) with condoms makes them both more enjoyable and less likely to break. Click below to see condom options.

Currently, condoms are the only widely available, proven method for reducing transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during intercourse. ASHA supports the promotion and use of condoms to limit the spread of sexually transmitted infections and their harmful consequences. Condoms are effective when people use them correctly and consistently. Using a lubricant with condoms makes them both more enjoyable and less likely to break. Click below to see condom options.

Latex Condom

Advantages

  • Inexpensive
  • Accessible, the most common type of condom
  • Available in a variety of colors, textures, thicknesses, and sizes
  • Malleable and stretchy

Disadvantages

  • Can NOT be used with oils or oil-based lubes
  • Will degrade in high heat (wallet, glove compartment)

Polyurethane condom

Advantages

  • Good for those with a latex sensitivity/allergy
  • Thin, so transmits warmth well
  • Safe with oil-based lubes

Disadvantages

  • Does not conform as tightly to a penis, so it may slip off more easily
  • Not as stretchy as latex, so it may break more easily and may fit a limited range of penis sizes

Polyisoprene condom

Advantages

  • Good for those with a latex sensitivity
  • Malleable and stretchy like latex

Disadvantages

  • Can NOT be used with oil-based lubes
  • Will degrade (break down) in high heat (wallet, glove compartment)

Lambskin condom

Advantages

  • Feels “natural”
  • Good for those with a latex sensitivity

Disadvantages

  • DOES NOT PROTECT AGAINST STIs, only pregnancy
  • Looser fit than latex

Internal Condoms

An internal condom is a pouch that’s inserted in the vagina or anus before sex to protect against STIs and pregnancy. They can be used by people of all genders who participate in receptive vaginal or anal sex.

Advantages

  • Outer ring covers a larger surface area, protects more of a woman’s mucous membrane
  • Good for those with latex sensitivity
  • Wearer can be in control
  • Can insert up to eight hours before sex

Disadvantages

  • Some say the outer ring irritates the clitoris and vulva
  • Expensive
  • Difficult to find
  • Slippage is common
  • May be uncomfortable for the receiver of anal sex

Lubricants

A good lubricant (lube) is one of the most important tools in your sexual toolkit. Lube reduces friction which can cause tiny tears in the skin, which make it more likely for the person to get an infection if their partner has one. Lube can also make sex feel better, whether having intercourse, masturbating, having oral sex, or using sex toys.

In addition to lube reducing tears in the skin, condoms work better and are less likely to tear when you use lube. Lube can also make oral sex with a barrier more enjoyable for a person with a vagina receiving it.

Vaginas self-lubricate when a person with a vagina is turned on, but many factors may reduce lubrication: alcohol or other drugs (including hormonal birth control, stimulants, antihistamines, antidepressants, chemotherapy), monthly hormonal changes, peri-menopause, menopause, breastfeeding, a history of sexual assault, and other psychological and physical factors. Some people may want extra lubrication on the vulva and clitoris during sex, as lubrication from the vagina often does not reach these external areas.

The anus does not self-lubricate, and you always need to use a lubricant to prevent the very fragile skin of the anus from tearing during anal play or intercourse. Most people like an anal lubricant thicker than those used for vaginal sex.

NOTE: Avoid any lubricant with lidocaine or benzocaine, which dull the body’s natural defense (pain), which lets you know when something is wrong, including tearing of the skin.

Below are types of lubricants you might choose, with advantages and disadvantages of each.

Saliva

Advantages

  • Free
  • Accessible

Disadvantages

  • Not as slippery as others
  • May spread infection if the saliva of an infected person is used as the lubricant
  • Dries up more quickly than others

Oil/petroleum-based lubricants

Includes such lubricants as Vaseline and baby oil.Advantages

  • Great for external male masturbation
  • Inexpensive and accessible

Disadvantages

  • NOT for vaginal use
  • NOT for use with latex condoms or toys
  • Stains fabric

Natural/plant-based oils

Includes coconut, grapeseed, apricot, jojoba, olive oils; CriscoAdvantages

  • Great for massage
  • All-natural
  • Safe to eat
  • Moisturizing–good for dry skin
  • Inexpensive and accessible
  • Safe for vaginal and anal use
  • Absorbed into the skin

Disadvantages

  • NOT for use with latex condoms or toys
  • Stains fabric
  • Can go rancid

Water-based lubricants

Advantages

  • Doesn’t stain fabric
  • Latex-friendly
  • Some come flavored for oral sex
  • Safe for vaginal and anal use

Disadvantages

  • Some ingredients may be irritating for sensitive skin (glycol,parabens, glycerin, flavorings, nonoxodyl-9).
  • Dries out quickly (Use saliva or water to reconstitute.)

Silicone lubes

Advantages

  • Latex-friendly
  • Stays slick in water (i.e. hot tubs)
  • Stays slippery longer than others
  • Safe for vaginal and anal use

Disadvantages

  • Expensive
  • Stains sheets
  • NOT to be used with silicone or cyber skin toys
  • Must be washed off with soap and water
  • May make surfaces such as floors and showers slippery

Barriers for Oral Sex

Barriers used during oral sex can help prevent transmission of STIs. Options include:

Dental dams (latex)

Advantages

  • Thicker than plastic wrap, less likely to tear

Disadvantages

  • Cannot be used with oil or oil-based lubes
  • Latex will degrade in high heat (wallet, glove compartment)
  • May be difficult to find
  • Limited range of sizes

Plastic wrap

a.k.a. cling wrap, Saran Wrap, etc. Use a non-microwavable type.

Advantages

  • Easily accessible
  • Inexpensive
  • Can have exactly the size you want and need
  • Good for those with latex sensitivity or allergy

Disadvantages

  • Thinner than dental dams so may tear more easily

Sex Toys

The safest bet is not to share sex toys. If you do decide to share, make sure to follow some simple steps to share safely.

Sharing sex toys (like vibrators, for example) can be risky if they have vaginal fluids, blood, or feces on them. Sharing sex toys without cleaning them or using a condom can potentially expose a person to STIs.

The safest practice is not to share sex toys. If sex toys are shared, a condom should be used. With toys that can be inserted into the vagina or anus, a person may put a condom onto the toy. For shared toys in which the penis is inserted, a condom may be worn. It is important to change the condom before another person uses the toy so that any body fluids or infectious organisms on the sex toy are not passed on to the partner. It is also important to change the condom when moving from the anus to the vagina to prevent possible infection.

When cleaning sex toys, look to see what the manufacturer’s instructions recommend. Some may be best cleaned with soap and water, while certain types of may be made from materials, such as silicone, that are dishwasher safe.

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Warm Or Chill Your Glass Dildo For Extra Excitement

Warm Or Chill Your Glass Dildo For Extra Excitement

As you may have already noticed we are huge fans of glass dildo sex toys, in fact, we believe we are the BIGGEST fans there are. When we encountered our first Phallix dildo in 2000 we immediately knew that glass toys would be huge and wasted no time in setting up an e-commerce site to sell them directly to you.

For us it was a simple decision as the benefits were obvious. We knew immediately that the cleanliness of glass over rubber and plastic toys would draw attention. Second, we felt the fact that they are free of nasty chemicals like Phthalates and BPA would cause those who’ve had bad reactions to rubber and plastic to seek such alternatives to enhance their sex lives. Then, last but not least, the sheer artistic beauty of a glass dildo would garner plenty of additional attention.

It wasn’t until we and our customers began to experiment a little with our glass toys that we began to find other exciting attributes that Pyrex glass toys offered, making them much more fun to play with than those stale old rubber or plastic sex toys. Knowing that glass sex toys are tempered glass and capable of adapting and handling various temperatures, even to the extremes, one of the first things that we tried was to place one in the freezer to see what happened.

What an eye opening experience! While not knowing what to expect, we let the it get a little too cold on that initial trial run and had to let it thaw a little before trying it on those sensitive areas. After a few moments it did warm up enough to give it a try and the cold sensation was wonderful especially when using it anally. This led us to try using that glass dildo at various temperatures and experimenting with different ways of warming it up and cooling it down.

Since then, through trial and error, we’ve learned a few things and also received a lot of feedback from our customers as to what they like. To guide you in your experimentation we’d like to pass along what we’ve learned and give you a few best practices to help you with your sexual fun.

Borosilicate Glass Toys Can Handle Various Temperatures

Borosilicate glass, often referred to as Pyrex, is a medium that this capable of adapting to various temperatures, even to the extreme, and withstand what is known as thermal shock due to it having low coefficients of thermal expansion. In addition, after a glass sex toy is shaped by hand using a torch it is then annealed in a kiln for a specified period of time, which then strengthens the glass even further. As you can see, the very nature of its production process is evidence that borosilicate glass is capable of handling extreme temperatures.

We’d like to make a very specific point at this time. You DO NOT ever want to use a glass toy that a) is made of anything other than borosilicate glass and b) hasn’t been annealed. All of the toys that we sell adhere to these two points.

One of the coolest features of a glass sex toy is that they quickly adapt to the temperature of their surroundings. This is something that you should notice right away as they may feel very cool or almost cold when you first insert them but then adjust to body temperature soon after. This can lead to many different and very exciting sexual adventures, as we’ll explore later in this article.

Warming Your Glass Dildo

Often times one of the comments that we receive regarding glass toys is that they are a little cold when you first use them in your lovemaking session. Yes, they are glass and may be cool to the touch when you first pull them out of the pouch, but as mentioned above, they adapt to temperature quickly. This issue can be quickly alleviated by simply using them for a little while, letting them adjust to body temperature or placing them somewhere warm for a few seconds prior to use.

But the fun doesn’t end there!

We highly encourage our customers to let their imaginations run free and safely experiment with their glass toys. Warming up your toy isn’t just limited to making it more comfortable if the toy feels too cold. Some people actually mention that they find it more pleasurable when their toy feels warm to the touch. Also that it seems slicker and reacts better when mixed with their bodily fluids.

You’ll find that you can warm up your Pyrex dildo in a variety of ways but we definitely recommend caution. We’ve seen some people suggesting boiling or to use a microwave to warm up your toy. While a sex toy made of borosilicate glass can handle these methods we recommend caution, as a glass toy can become very hot very quickly.

We also recommend to always temperature test the toy before using it on sensitive areas to avoid any discomfort. First and foremost we adamantly preach safety and your fun parts are very sensitive, we do not want to see you burn your privates.

Until you become familiar with your personal limitations we recommend that you warm your toy slowly by placing it in lukewarm water. As you become more familiar with your toy you can work your way up in temperature and eventually you will find your sweet spot. Glass toys quickly adapt to whatever temperature they’re exposed to and it won’t take long for it to become warm so were sure it won’t ruin the moment.

As such they will also cool down as you use them so we recommend keeping a bowl of warm water nearby to continue warming the toy as needed. Please keep in mind that your glass dildo will become very slippery when wet so please be cautious when handling it, we don’t want to see your precious plaything damaged if you happen to drop in on a hard surface.

We’d like to stress that you while some people suggest warming your toy by boiling or microwaving it. We DO NOT recommend these methods but if you choose to do so use extreme caution with any of these methods to avoid injury.

**Also, please do not place any item that has dichroic artwork in a microwave. The attractive dichoic material used to create the pretty jewel like artwork you see in some glass toys is actually a metallic substance. As with any metal item you may damage to your microwave.

Chilling Your Glass Sex Toy Can Be A Fun Surprise

Warming your toy can be fun but it’s not your only option. Chilling your glass toy can be quite exciting. Some people mention that they love the cool feeling during the heat of the moment and others find it fun to surprise their partner at just the right time.

As with warming your toy you can chill them in a variety of ways although once again we recommend caution. Just as your doctor would recommend when you are icing an injury you want to be careful when placing anything frozen directly on your skin as a frozen item may irritate sensitive skin or even cause further injury.

Once again, you will find people mention more extreme methods such as placing your glass toy in the freezer. While this is perfectly acceptable we recommend that if you were to choose this method that you monitor the length of time that it’s in there closely. Obviously if you were to leave it in there for a longer period of time it would become frozen and while your glass toy can handle it you may not.

As with warming your toy we recommend that you start slowly by placing either placing it in your refrigerator or in a bowl of cool water and working your way slowly toward colder temperatures as you discover what you like. You’ll find that glass will get colder quite quickly so you can easily try different temperatures by leaving it in the cold water a little longer each time. You may want to warn your partner before you try anything too cold although it can be a fun surprise. We’ll leave that up to your judgement.

Experimenting with cooler temperatures is really quite easy. For example you could start with a bowl of cool water then gradually leave your toy in there for longer periods of time. Eventually you’ll find that you may reach a point where it won’t get any colder so you can then add a few ice cubes. As you become more familiar with a cold toy you may want to try adding few more, then a few more and eventually work your way up to using a bowl of ice.

We’ve actually even heard one of our customers describe their glass dildo as a sexy ice cube that never melts!

In the end it’s up to you to use your discretion in how you’d like to use your toys. We primarily preach caution by taking it slow, after all it’s about enjoyment and there’s no need to rush to the next step. Always remember to test the temperature by touch before applying it to any sensitive areas and to handle your glass toy with care, as they do become very slippery.

Once again we encourage you to be creative and experiment with warming or chilling your glass toy. When you think about it there are all sorts of possibilities and we’re sure that like us, you’ll find that a glass dildo is much more fun than those stale old plastic or rubber toys.

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10 Exciting Alternate Uses for a Fleshlight

10 Exciting Alternate Uses for a Fleshlight

In my capacity as a website editor, I’m sometimes offered products that the makers would like me to promote. Often I will turn down these offers because I can’t think of any way to spin duvet covers into an interesting article. But on a very rare occasion I get an offer I can’t refuse – like when the good people who make Fleshlights offered me a sample to review. And it wasn’t just a sample, it was 5 of them. I only have one set of genitalia (is it properly referred to as a set? I’m just referring to my dong), but now I have 5 Fleshlights, which makes me some kind of masturbatory Viking.

Thing is, I don’t wank all that often because it causes migraines and if I had too much sodium that day I’ll pass out and shit myself. Don’t judge me. So instead of simply working my noodle with these generously offered items, I figured I’d see if I could find room for them somewhere else in my life.

Showerhead

As luck would have it, my showerhead suffered a tragic accident after an impromptu session as a would-be bidet. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but resulted in a quick trip to a walk-in clinic and a cracked shower head that refused to do anything more than dribble water like Thunderbird running from the mouth of a semi-catatonic hobo passed out behind an Outback Steakhouse.

Showerhead fleshlight

Seeing an opportunity, I figured I’d give the Fleshlight a spin. For those not aware, beyond the rubbery vagina of a Fleshlight is the handle; kind of a long, terrifying rubbery tail. And it has a hole. The reason for that hole should be self explanatory but if it’s not, remember, you asked for an explanation – it’s to allow for adequate removal of all…fluids. But it also allows you to jam your shower hose in the end to see what happens.

Observations:If you’ve never seen a vaguely flesh tone, disembodied vagina firing hot water at you and wriggling about in your tub, you haven’t lived.

Hotdog Holder

Ever tried to eat a hot dog without a bun and ended up killing several locals? That’s what you get you inconsiderate prick. So in order to sidestep that terrible issue with future wieners, I figured I’d try my hand at a Fleshlight dog. Sound disgusting? Ha ha…yes. But the bigger issue is which Fleshlight is best suited for weiner grasping? The vag? The mouth? The ass? Man, I’m in over my head.

Observations: It’s remarkably secure, yet extremely off-putting. I chose the ass because as far as I understand it, that’s what hot dogs are made from. Things were working out like gangbusters until my dog ate it. Next.

Hotdog Holder

Pet Fish

Have you ever had a fish and then, maybe a week later, questioned what the hell you were thinking? Fish are the ultimate animal rights animals, because while you can make a case for keeping a dog – it’s playful, loyal, warm and fuzzy, there is no equivalent for a fish. With a dog you can walk it, play games with it, clean its shit off the ground with a bag wrapped around your hand as though you were some kind of subservient immigrant being humiliated by his employer, all kinds of things. Fish? You wait until the amount of urine in its water because so great you need to change it, then the process starts over again. Having a pet fish is so close to actually witnessing the grim hand of death come visit you it boggles the mind why so many people do it.

Since having a real fish enlightens your life in no way whatsoever beyond the addition of the smell of stagnant water and brine shrimp, I figured a little synthetic flesh fish floating around in the tank would be just as enriching, and I wouldn’t have the vague odor of fish permeating my home

Pet Fish fleshlight

Observations: Well, it’s a fake vagina, so not much happens. It sits there and doesn’t stink. I’m calling this a win.

Nunchucks

Anyone born between 1970 and 1990 better be damn well aware that nunchucks are the most awesome weapon of all time, and that includes bazookas. Any decent kung fu movie includes at least one nunchucks show off scene, where the dude stands there spinning them and for whatever reason people give him that 20 seconds of grace time to show boat rather than just aiming a gun at his face and shooting him right in it. Right in the face. That’ll show him. Anyway, I tied some strings to the Fleshlights and tried to make nunchucks.

Nunchucks fleshlight

Observations: You shouldn’t need me to tell you what a stupid idea this was, but I did nearly break a clock and I smashed my knee pretty good. Shoulda taken them out of the holsters or whatever first. On an unrelated note, did you ever call them numchucks when you were a kid? Dumbass.

Party Balloons

Every party needs a balloon, they bring the fun at all times or some shit like that. That’s probably what people who work at balloon factories tell themselves. They have balloon factories, right? That’s gotta be right up there with plunger factories and personal assistant to Jimmy Fallon. Can you even imagine? Shit….man, that brought this whole article down a bit. I’m sorry. Here’s a picture of a mouth you’re supposed to put your weiner in, blown up like a balloon.

Party Balloons fleshlights

Observations: As you can see, the faux flesh of these wank jackets is really forgiving and can handle quite the blowout, which I like to think has really saved the day for someone, somewhere, somehow. I can’t quite imagine what kind of jack off mishap would be averted by virtue of a really elastic wanking device, but I can only assume there is one and if it happens to you, you’re going to breathe a sigh of relief that you chose to use a real Fleshlight and not some Sri Lankan knockoff that would explode and pluck your eye from your skull like a hungry raven.

Puppet

You can only stare at a rubbery mouth in a can for so long before you get the idea to hit the dollar store and buy some googly eyes. Two minutes later and you’ve got yourself a wicked “S’alright? Salright!” partner that trumps talking to your worthless fist any day of the week. I’m not afraid to admit, I did this for a solid half hour and laughed the entire time.

Observations: Honestly, out of all the things I’ve tried so far, this seems the most soul satisfying. Showerhead is great and all, but people are bound to ask questions if they come for a visit. The hot dog thing is going to lead to charges from the SPCA. But this? I bet I could take this in public and at least ¾ of people wouldn’t have any idea how disgusting I was for bringing this in public.

Musical Instrument

I considered filming some video for this, but I can’t justify the waste of bandwidth. I know the internet is made of virtual real estate, but I can’t help but think I’d be bumping aside some fledgling porno if I videotaped myself playing a fake vag like a tuba. So sans video, I can assure you that, if you fill this with air party balloon style, you can then pinch off the end and work out some guttural grunts and groans that sound a bit like animal mating calls.

Observations: Wouldn’t it have been cool if I actually managed to attract a moose or some shit? Probably not, those things are dangerous in real life. Plus this mostly sounds like a meat curtainy balloon farting itself into a flaccid state. Still, it’s hard not to laugh the first couple of times. It’s a big cooter with a tail making farty sounds. That’s comedy you can take to the bank.

Door Knocker

Doorbells have their place, but there’s something classy about a door knocker. The problem is most people have lame ass door knocks, they’re just droopy tit shaped and really don’t do much for the overall knocking experience. One time, I saw a door knocker shaped like a pair of nuts, and that was kind of cool, but at the same time I felt weird grabbing hold of them and banging them against a little metal plate. I mean, really. Fortunately, a rubbery orifice hanging from your door is much more welcoming.

Door Knocker fleshlight

Observations: God, isn’t that majestic? Really brings the whole front of the place together. The downside here is that when you try to employ the knocker, it just makes a slappy, squishy sound, the way I imagine a severed penis would sound if you threw it at the door. Or like a raw steak or whatever.

Dog Toy

This one came together really easily, thanks to the weiner stank that was still on the fleshlight from the previous experiment. I left it on the table and the dog knocked it down and made off with it. Right now, in my closet, I have a pink, rubber asshole with dog teeth marks in it. Some day that’s going to cause me no end of embarrassment.

Dog Toy fleshlight

Observations: My dog really loves wieners and is not above going hog wild on a fake asshole to get them.

Monster Wang Prosthetic

It’s hard not to notice how dildonic this whole beast is once it’s out of the can. Naturally I figured why not use it to compensate for my groinal inadequacies? So I jammed it in my pants.

Monster Wang Prosthetic fleshlight

Mostly though it made me look like I had a gunt, which wasn’t what I was aiming for exactly. This lead me to plan B.

is that a gun in your pants

If I tried, I bet I could have got my whole hand in there. Check and mate.